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Dear So and So....

Saturday, April 10, 2010 Posted by Rita A

Welcome to my weekly Dear So and So letters. These are the letters I wish I could have sent this week. It is my little soap box way of dealing with weekly craziness.

Dear Drive Thru Time Waster,
The drive through is here for convenience, it should be quick. My hubby was waiting in the line behind two cars. You were right in front of him. You could clearly see the menu from your vantage point. When you got to the speaker box, you had no idea what to order! What were you doing while waiting? You changed your order 3 times holding the line up. To make matters worse, when you reached the payment window - you had to dig for money and were still digging after hubby placed his order and came behind you. I bet you use the express line in the store with too many items too.

Dear Walmart,
I am wondering what is your policy on bagging purchases, especially clothes. I purchased two pants and two shirts the other day along with cleaning chemicals, pet food and other items. I was careful not to place my clothes on the filthy register belts and handed them directly to the cashier. I watched in horror as she placed them back on the belt to scan the tickets. She then took the hangers off and rolled the clothes around her hands in a little ball and shoved, and I mean shoved, them in the bags right next to the chemicals. I had little balls of clothes. I stopped the customer service manager on the way out to inquire about this and was told, there is no bagging policy but we should treat customer's purchases with more respect. Humpf.....I think you should treat my money to your store with more respect too! I returned all my balled up clothes.

Dear Soon to be Ex Mrs. McCourt,
You may be the wife of the Dodgers owner going through an ugly divorce, but seriously - you want a million dollars a month in spousal support? Dream on! I say sell some of those homes you do not even use. You have a home that is empty that you use only the swimming pool? You have a home that you use just for dinner parties? You have like 4 or 5 homes total all for different reasons. Well get used to a kiddie pool, shopping at Walmart, and a drive thru dinner. Maybe you will be behind the Drive Thru Time Waster.

Dear Nigerian Email Scammers,
I thank you for all the millions of dollars I have won, and then for the emails where you ask for the money back to help. I thank you for all the out of country lottos I have won and the packages you are sending to me that I have to verify. I ask you - does anyone ever really fall for these things? Could you use the time you waste on these internet scams to do something more productive? If there is any country that should ban internet access it should be yours. Congratulations you have just won the pleasure of seeing my delete button in action!

Dear Hubby,
You have been on your very best behavior lately. You stay away from my chocolate, pick up your laundry, help in the kitchen etc. When I thanked you for it, you said " I am scared I will be on Dear So and So "

Have a great week everyone!

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  1. Brittney said...

    I hate when ppl take forever at the drive thru.. its supposed to be quick and easy! haha!!

    I love how your hubby was scared he would be on the dear so & so!! LMAO!

  2. Emmy said...

    Great letters!! Good for you for returning the clothes! Way to stick it to them. I don't think I ever would have done that, mostly because I usually am shopping with my kids and by the time we pay am so ready to get out of there.
    And I LOVE what your husband said, too too funny

  3. Laurie said...

    I love your Dear So and So letters! I do something similar on my "rant and (eye)roll" blog:

    I'd love for you to come visit me sometime there or on my other blogs:

  4. Sarafan2 said...

    Love your posts Rita. That gave me a good laugh especially the Walmart idiot!!! Go Walmart!! lol

    Thanks Rita..

  5. Sabreena said...

    I too hate the drive thru time wasters. It's not like McDonald's hasn't been around for years and you've probably seen the menu hundreds of times. If you can't be decisive then go inside and stand around. The rest of us have kids screaming for happy meals and pelting us with car toys and do not have time for your shenanigans.

  6. Sabreena said...

    I too hate the drive thru time wasters. It's not like McDonald's hasn't been around for years and you've probably seen the menu hundreds of times. If you can't be decisive then go inside and stand around. The rest of us have kids screaming for happy meals and pelting us with car toys and do not have time for your shenanigans.

  7. sharonjo said...

    I hear you on the Walmart thing! I was there a couple of weeks ago and had a cashier (youngish girl) who actually bagged my purchases carefully, efficiently, and properly. WHAT?!!! Never had that happen before. I thanked her as I was leaving--somewhat dumbfounded by the whole experience.

  8. ohiostate92 said...

    Thank you for taking the time to write these letters. I find them to be laugh out loud funny - mostly because they are so true! You're saying all the things the rest of us would like to say...keep up the entertainment!

  9. Wendi P said...

    Thank you for my Saturday afternoon laugh, Rita!! Now I am wishing I had my own blog and wrote my own Dear So & So letters so that MY hubby would be on his best behavior for fear of my outing him ;-)

  10. Cake Mom said...

    I love these posts and your site looks great!

  11. hickcrazy1 said...

    Great gag, Rita. Very well done and just the right touch to perking up for Spring.
    hickcrazy1 at yahoo dot com

  12. Marla said...

    These posts are the best!

  13. RawknRobynsGoneBlogWild said...

    Dear Rita and your hubby,
    I'm sincerely sorry for wasting your time at the drive-thru. It's just that everything looked so unhealthy (i.e., delicious) on the menu. I couldn't decide between the bacon cheesburger or the super burrito. Then, it was a toss up between the strawberry or vanilla shake. That wasn't going to be enough, so I needed to decide between fries and onion rings. When I dug into my purse, I had to scrounge for the cash - which I keep separate from my coins. I have about 10,000 items in my purse, so it took several minutes. Please accept my apologies. Next time, I will order you both chocolate shakes for waiting.

  14. Becca said...

    LOL the last one is definitely the best!11!

  15. SoCalmoneysavindiva said...

    Next time you go to walmart just give them the money all balled up like the clothes and when they look at you all mad tell them that you treat your money like they treat the clothes they bag LOL that would be too funny. I love your so and so letters, they are great!

  16. Leiah said...

    The HATE me at the Walmart by my house. I put my items on the belt in particular order because I want them packed that way -- like items together -- in the bags that I bring. Yes, you will have to take a little more time and use the bags I bring. You can't just shove my things in there all willy-nilly and then spin that little wheel-o-plastic bags. Sorry, but that's how I do things at my house. And if a specific checker gets all put out about it, guess which one I will go to every time. Yep. Even though I wash everything before it's worn (working in retail will make you do that; do you realize how many hands have touched it before you bought it? or how many snotty noses have been wiped on it? true story!), it drives me absolutely nuts when they just roll it up...argh!!!

  17. Anonamom said...

    Oh, man, you have got me thinking of all of the so-and-sos I'd like to pick a bone with, like the illegal-merge-then-honk-at-me, or the 911 operator who acted like I was wasting her time when 20 people poured out of the party next door and got into a fight on my lawn! Sheesh.

    Folling you now, too!